Entry #11 - To Sleep, Perchance to Dream. To Think, Perchance to Blog...

The Final Frontier.. wait, no, the final blog!

Well I certainly never would have expected this.  Certainly the declaration at the start of the semester regarding a blog project was not one that I mentally met with joy and exaltation.  Quite the opposite really.  I remember at first being a bit embarrassed to admit to friends and co-workers that I had a blog and quickly explained it as "It's a project for my English class."  Now?  I don't really care what people think, this stuff is FUN!  I never would have expected how enjoyable this would, how much it would get me to think and really consider different topics.  And of course, there's the memes.

When I first started, I had no idea how I wanted to proceed.  I had no idea what format I should use, what kind of tone or how I would make this blog appealing to anyone.  For that matter, I had no idea how I was going to write something that people would actually want to read.

Needless to say, I had a lot of wild thoughts about how this blog would happen.  The use of memes wasn't really intended to be something that became a staple of each entry, it just sort of evolved that way.  I thought it would add something interesting and they were funny.  And trying to end each post with a 'goodbye' meme really happened around the time of the second official entry.  I figured since I'd done it with the first one, I should do it again.  Then the thought occurred to me that I should just do that for ALL of my entries!  Oh how did I not realize the world of procrastination I would open myself up to by having to search down memes related to my topics.  Then again, holy crap that was fun! 

Admittedly, while overall I found blogging a lot of fun (a lot more fun than I ever expected it to be) I had more than a few times of groaning and dragging my feet because I just didn't want to do it.  It was fun yes, and when I did it I always ended up enjoying it, but it's so frustrating when you struggle to find just the right words, just the right way you want to say something.  What can you do, say, or add to really make the point?  That's what I struggled with perhaps more than anything.  I wanted to make sure that each entry meant something, that it was a clear point on my thoughts, on my opinions and maybe that it managed to share insight into things that might encourage or help others somehow.

Then, of course, there's the question of... did that make sense?  More than a few times in my life there have been instances where something made perfect sense... to me.  Then I'd inevitably have to stop and explain my train of thought for how I went form topic A to topic W and that it did, I promise, make sense.  Sometimes my head makes connections and logical conclusions that my mouth (or in this case fingers) miss out on.  So, to me it makes perfect sense, but does it to those listening (or reading as the case may be)?   Needless to say, I had to do a lot of re-reading to check my work.  That issue in particular was something of an issue when I was sick because let me tell you, trying to write coherent, cohesive sentences that actually have a point when hopped up on cold meds is just... well it's amusing as hell in hindsight but in the moment it was very frustrating. 

Sure you could try and make a blog post without memes but it just wouldn't be nearly as much fun.  Or as stressful.  But mostly not as much fun.  I often ended up re-reading entries and hoping beyond hope that people found them as funny as I did.  That in and of itself is something different to me.  Blogging really helped to cement in my head the connection between paper and audience.  It's something I'd always known in a kind of abstract way but my focus was always on the paper, on the words themselves, not on who I was trying to reach with those words.  Blogging is much different than just writing papers.  The point to blogging is to reach people, to put your thoughts, ideas, and opinions out there to share with whomever stumbles across this interesting bit of work. 

When I started this blog I had no idea what I'd really gain out of it, if anything, yet as I'm typing this final entry I realize that I've gained a lot from this project.  Not only did I happen to have a lot of fun doing it, but I had an opportunity to talk about a broad range of topics.  Entry #8 is perhaps a particularly fitting example of "things I never thought I'd ever discuss in an open forum type of setting."  Yet it was important and it connected me to my writing in a way I hadn't really experienced in a very long time.  Unlike all of the papers I wrote in high school or writing competitions I did, it was never really about the audience though.  Papers were focused on the topic: what are you trying to explain, what is your position, what's your opinion?  It was a matter of what are you trying to say, not who you're saying it to. 

That was something which was much more important in the papers we wrote for class as well, with no few discussions on who the audience is that we're trying to speak to.  The blog project just seemed to cement that, keeping it something which remained in the back of my mind.  Instead of struggling to figure it out with my in-class papers, blogging actually made it easier to figure out who I was trying to connect to and how I wanted to 'speak' to them as it were. 

And of course there's this.  The dreaded editing.  Something which I spent a great many hours doing for papers.  And, as I just explained, the editing primarily centered around this new concept of audience.  Instead of "does this say what I want it to say?" my concerns with editing became focused more on "Is this something my audience would understand?  Am I making this clear enough without making it seem dumbed down?"  It's amazing sometimes how the seemingly smallest things can have such a profound impact on how we do things.  I honestly think if it weren't for this  blogging project, I would have struggled significantly more with my papers and with this concept of connecting to the audience than I did.  And the blog project did this so subtly I didn't even realize how much it was helping me until halfway through! 

Ultimately, I have to admit that I've had more than a few thoughts of keeping the blog going after the project was over.  I figured no one would ever read it once no one had to make comments for a grade anymore but part of me is sad to think of stopping.  Another part of me thinks "Holy crap are you nuts!?  You've got too much work to do anyway!"  Still, I really did enjoy this experience.  A lot.  A lot more than I ever expected to that's for certain. 

So here we are at the end of our blogging journey.  It's been fun.  It's been enlightening.  I imagine you'll be relieved to not have to sift through entirely too long posts and far too many memes but part of me hopes that you'll miss reading my entries as much as I'll miss writing them.  One last time, our final farewell, I give you my last goodbye meme. It's been fun.