Entry # 10 (Eng 102) - The Light at the End of the Tunnel!

ALMOST THERE!

It's almost time!  We're almost there!  It's almost over!  In barely two short, glorious weeks the Fall 2017 semester will be through!  Oh glorious exaltation, I can remember what sleep feels like!

And to be honest, at this point I kind of feel like I even have the same war wounds, just on the inside.  My very soul is shredded, I don't remember what not being stressed feels like.  It's honestly my own fault though.  I'm the genius who started a last minute online spring semester class, went straight into summer semester, split classes so as soon as I was done with two classes I started two more and then a third one.  The third summer course was online and 16 weeks, so that stretched into fall semester and I had 3 classes fall semester.  Basically for the last six months I've done nothing but school and work.  The sad part?  I hadn't even realized that till I started breaking out in hives and tried to figure out "WTF IS GOING ON?!" and my doctor was like "oh, it's stress."  ...really?  Really?  Ugh.

This mindset has become something of a joke with my co-workers:
 
Coworker:"What are you working on?"
Me: "Oh, my English paper, trying to find sources for my History paper, working on blogs, peer reviewing, rethinking the reality of my life and wondering just how insane I really am"
Coworker: "...okay, how are you doing that at the end of a 16 hour work day?"
Me:"I live in a perpetual state of exhaustion and stress.  I survive off of caffeine, willpower and pure spite."
Coworker: *slowly backs away while listening to me giggle like an unhinged woman*

Yeah... so the excitement of "OH MY GOD IT'S ALMOST OVER" sort of wore off with this realization.  Well, that coupled with:

...seriously, if I never write another paper it will be glorious.  I know that won't happen.  Not even close.  But maybe I can manage a few months of no paper writing?  Maybe?  God I hope so, my brain is starting to make some disturbing noises while I stare at Microsoft Word going "What's my topic again?"

<.<  I plead the 5th.  I think this also applies to blog posts.  The hubster was telling me last night:

Hubster: "Okay! I'm going to bed"
Me: "Okay, I'm finishing up my blog posts, just one more due this week!"
Hubster: "That's great!  What's this one on?"
Me: "NO IDEA!"
Hubster: "You were way too happy saying that..."

Okay seriously, the topic for this blog sort of hit me at about 2AM when my brain had officially hit the "Fuck you, I'm done, sleep.  Sleep now.  No you can't keep working, I said I'm done, SLEEP WOMAN!"  ...yes I have arguments with myself, there's nothing wrong with that.  It's only a cause for concern when you start losing the arguments with yourself.  Then you should start to worry.  Probably.  Just sayin'.

Okay, I simply had to include this meme because when I read it I couldn't help but to literally laugh out loud (for a little too long) at the hilariousness of it all.  Granted, I might have found it so funny because there have been a few times working on various papers this semester when I have stared at a word and literally not been able to tell if I had the right tense of it.  Thank God for phone calls to my mom, a retired teacher.  Even if I'm pretty sure she's starting to wonder if I've lost my mind when I can easily spout off "3-dollar words" without hesitation but can't tell if I'm using "toward" correctly.  (Hint: I'm not, for some reason I consistently want to put a freaking "s" on the end of that word.  It's embarrassing.)

I foresee this happening for me, I really do.  I was pretty much like this at the end of my History mid-term, furiously scribbling away as my handwriting became progressively more like chicken-scratch than actual legible writing.  It was so bad I actually apologized to my teacher when I handed it in.  Given the final exam has two more essay questions on it than the mid-term I have a feeling I'm going to have some pretty serious hand cramping issues.  BUT!  At least the final has an hour and 50 minutes allotted take it, instead of the 50 minutes for the mid-term!  Huzzah!

*does a happy dance*

It's almost oooooover!  It's almost oooooover!  I'm seriously not wiggling on my couch while writing this.  I'm not.  Really.  You can't prove a thing!  I'm still trying so, so hard to not utterly freak out though.  Every time I start getting really excited, my brain immediately has to be a total downer and remind me: "Oh, your final English paper is due on Tuesday in class and you work all weekend.  And you haven't started your 12-page research paper for your final History paper that's due Friday."  *Brain proceeds to point and laugh at me*  ...my brain is an asshole.

Ultimately, there are two ways that I see myself leaving my final classes.

Option 1:

And Option 2:

Honestly, I think both are going to be fairly accurate.  So, so close.  It's so close.  I can taste the freedom, I can imagine going to sleep and NOT having to set my alarm and being able to sleep for hours and hours.  Oh such glorious sleep.  How I miss you so much.  It's going to be like getting to see an old friend after months apart, where all you want to do is hug each other and not let go because if you let go, they might go away again.  SLEEEEEP!  Still, it's almost over.  Sure I have a lot of work left and an obscene amount of writing left to do for various papers or assignments, but it's still almost over.  The light is at the end of the tunnel, it's so close.  Just a little longer... and remember: